5 Frameworks to refine your emotional intelligence

When I was 18, I was dragged kicking and screaming into Emotional Intelligence training. I was working at a bank call centre, and I guess management thought I needed to be a little less abrupt when on calls with customers.

Did I know what it was? No.

Did I find it interesting? To my know-it-all 18-year-old surprise, yes, I did.

I found it fascinating but didn't think much of it.

However, over the years, I've used the techniques learned that day without realising it.

This leads me to believe that...

Like it or not, running a Power BI business means running a people business. And what's the most important skill in a people business?

Emotional Intelligence.

Unfortunately, a lack of awareness keeps people from learning how to improve. This game is about relationships: technical skills are a dime a dozen; they can be Googled, ChatGPT'd, or read from a textbook. Relationships are more of an enigma, but they can be worked on. Here are 5 Emotional Intelligence frameworks that I found interesting. They might help you land the next client, get a raise, or help you find your life partner. At a minimum, they will help you deal with those weird, wonderful, strange, unpredictable, eyebrow-raising things we call "other humans."

Let's get it:

Daniel Goleman's Emotional Intelligence Framework

Hearing this completely changed the way I thought about Emotional Intelligence.

According to Daniel Goleman, it all starts with awareness:

• Self-awareness: Understand your own emotions and triggers.
• Self-management: Learn how to manage your emotions effectively.
• Social awareness: Recognise the feelings of others and empathise with them.
• Relationship management: Build strong, positive relationships with others.

Read more here.

Travis Bradberry's Emotional Intelligence Framework

Hang this up in your room somewhere—and stare at it daily.

• Practice active listening.
• Cultivate empathy.
• Manage stress through mindfulness techniques.

Read more here.

Paul Ekman's Emotion Recognition Framework

I consider this the Bible of Emotional Intelligence.

• Learn the universal facial expressions for emotions.
• Pay attention to body language and vocal cues.
• Use context to help interpret emotions.

Paul's website is a great resource.

Marc Brackett's RULER Framework

Are you struggling with a lack of awareness?

1. Recognise: Identify the emotion you or others are feeling.
2. Understand: Discover the cause of the emotion.
3. Label: Use a precise word to describe the emotion.

Marc's website - is another good one.

Susan David's Emotional Agility Framework

Finally, this is how you achieve Emotional Intelligence mastery:

• First, accept and observe your emotions without judgment.
• Create space between your feelings and your actions.
• Finally, align your values and actions.

Read more here.

Emotional intelligence is arguably the most critical skill you can learn in life.

Unless you live in a cabin in the woods with no human contact (sounds nice, doesn't it?), it doesn't apply to you.

But to the rest of us, well, we're better off giving it a shot.

Who knows where it could land you?