How to Vanquish Imposter Syndrome

You know, that sneaky little monster that whispers self-doubt and inadequacy into our ears, preventing us from reaching our full potential. But fear not, for I have emerged victorious and am here to share my secrets. The first step on my journey was realising that I had no idea what imposter syndrome was; I just generally doubted myself and thought it was only a matter of time before people realised I had no idea what I was doing.

I just felt like shit.

Until I started categorising the why of my feelings, and they boiled down to four distinct reasons:

1. Fear of failure
2. Perfectionism
3. Inability to internalise accomplishments ("Why can't I take a compliment?")
4. Comparing myself to others

These guys held me back for years, and who knows, they may have also cost me relationships, jobs, and opportunities I can never get back.

From suffering from this for decades, I drew a line in the sand and took action. I'm no psychologist, so I won't go into the details, but here is how I overcame things in a distilled version.

Step 1: Recognise and acknowledge imposter syndrome

First, I had to understand the signs of imposter syndrome.

Was it a look someone gave me at work? Someone was talking shit about me and me hearing (I always heard it). As a consultant, you always feel it - some clients are pricks - they're out to get you because you earn more, should already be an expert, or plain dislike you.

It's here where you need to stop, pop out of the flow of your thoughts, and recognise it for what it is.

It's a shrug of the shoulders and a mindset of "I don't care what you think of me". But I'm here to do the job, and things will be much worse if I don't.

Step 2: Reframe your thoughts and embrace a growth mindset

Negativity is so 2020.

Time to reframe your thoughts. Instead of seeing failures as proof of inadequacy, consider them opportunities for growth and learning. Embrace a growth mindset and remember: asking for help or making mistakes is okay. After all, nobody's perfect.

My lived experience was my foray into the world of cafe ownership. Long story short, but it was one cock up after another and ended up in lost friends, money, and damaged egos.

But the funniest thing about that cafe disaster is that I consider it as a teacher of some of my biggest business lessons. I almost look back on it fondly - I couldn't get that type of education in 10 years if I tried.

At the time, it was hell; today - I'm nearly bulletproof due to it.

Step 3: Build, build, build, and celebrate

Probably the most effective tactic of them all.

Offloading mental pressure to things you've built, accomplished, and worked your arse off for.

• My son - hard work.
• My company - hard work.
• This website - hard work.
• My degree - people rubbish degrees (see above for my thoughts on what people think), but I worked my arse off for it.

All these things are a testament to the work. Call it validation, call them externalities, call them whatever.

The reality is they are the physical defence against imposter syndrome. These things talk the talk and walk the walk for me.

"Oh, you want to question me? Well, here's this and this."

And they're something to celebrate. They help move the needle away from imposter syndrome.

So now's about the time you start something and finish it. Finish the project, finish the book, and complete the certification course.

Then celebrate.

You're now one step away from being an imposter.

Now take another step.